finally i back here
without any purpose
without any reason
just to express some of my emotion
seriously i think i having problem with my health
i think i not feeling well since a few months ago
i cant sing a full song again which i can sing before
i feel bad in every moment
i feel want to meet everybody in a short moment
i dont feel like i can stay longer period
i dont feeling comfort
i try to communicate with someone else
i try to take care more about everyone
i try to learn more things in short period
i try to talk to you more every moment
i try to make myself more better than previous
i try to help everyone to reach their target
but i feel that i am tired
i feel i cant communicate with my mind
i feel i take care more i make it more worst
i feel i learn nothing although i try to learn
i feel i talk more i feel more annoying you
i feel i making myself worst day by day
i realize that i cant help anyone else..anymore
at first we become closer and closer
at first i feel very happy
at first i feel comfort while talking to all of you
now i still think we are close enough
but i dont feel very happy
and i dont feel comfort
because i started to think how to talk to you
i scare when i talk to you i talk the wrong things
i scare any mistake i make i will spoil all the things
am i thinking too much?
am i worry too much?
am i going to stay alive in coming 10 years?
am i having chance to take care of you all?
am i able to give more opinion to you all?
are you all willing to having me in your life?
are you?
im the type which always think too much
cause i really scare of losing anyone of you
someone told me before
i am over sensitive and that is really not good
but i cant stop thinking
i care of any changes of you
the ways you talk
the emotion you having
the every letter you type
the every punctuation
everything...anything...
im sorry if i giving too much pressure to you
im sorry if i too annoying for you
im sorry if i wasting too much of you time
im sorry if i am the one who make you emotion
i hope that all of you see it
and tell me that what i need to change
for now i need to think a lot before i reply
i free all the time and i see the conversation
i wanted to reply but i really scare
physical and mental of mine had changed
how long can i live?
how long will i leave?
sincerely i love all of you
i may leave one day
i will leave
i really dunno
and i love you..
